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The Book of Rules 94.7A
The Definitive Guide to Living Life
INDEX
Chapter
I Glossary
BOR 1-1
Purpose
BOR
1-2 Effective Date
BOR
1-3 Scope
BOR
1-4 Reference
BOR
1-5 BOR 94.7A-D1 Discrepancy Forms
BOR
1-6 Word Meanings
BOR
1-7 Submissions
Chapter
II
Driving
BOR
2-1 Crossing the Path of a Moving
Motor Vehicle
BOR
2-2 Changing Automobile Radio
Stations
BOR
2-3 Unnecessary Driving
BOR
2-4 Green Light Honk
BOR
2-5 Hang-Up Honk
BOR
2-6 Alienating Automobile
Passengers
BOR
2-7 Preprogramming Automobile
Radio Stations
BOR
2-8 Control of Vehicular Dashboard
Controls
BOR
2-9 Parking Alignment
BOR
2-10 Stopping During Parking
BOR
2-11 Replacement of Shopping Carts in
Parking Lots
Chapter
III
Food
BOR
3-1 Fast Food Line Priority for
Missed Items
BOR
3-2 Paying for Fast Food with
Change
BOR
3-3 Allowable Utilization of Fast
Food Drive-Thru Windows
BOR
3-4 Pre-Planning Drive-Thru Orders
BOR
3-5 Bread Loaf Seal Replacement
BOR
3-6 Ketchup Placement
BOR
3-7 Ice Replenishment
BOR
3-8 Taco Ingredient Placement
BOR
3-9 Authorized Drinking
Receptacles
BOR
3-10 Gum
BOR
3-11 Empty Milk Carton Replacement
BOR
3-12 Cup Orientation in Kitchen
Cabinets
Chapter
IV Manners
BOR
4-1 Yawning
BOR
4-2 Sneezing
BOR
4-3 Farting
BOR
4-4 Burping
BOR
4-5 Halitosis
BOR
4-6 Cell Phones
BOR
4-7 Smoking
BOR
4-8 Entering and Exiting Elevators
BOR
4-9 Addressing Grandparents
Chapter
V The Home
BOR
5-1 Sixty Second Sofa Seat
Reservation
BOR
5-2 Wind Chimes
BOR
5-3 Refrigerator Decoration
BOR
5-4 Door Coin Placement
BOR
5-5 Smoke Detector Battery
Replacement
BOR
5-6 Kitchen Cabinets and Drawers
BOR
5-7 Kitchen Clocks
BOR
5-8 Answering Phone Calls for
Other Individuals
BOR
5-9 Trash
BOR
5-10 Outdoor Holiday Decorations
Chapter
VI Bathrooms
BOR
6-1 Toilet Paper Selection and
Placement
BOR
6-2 Toilet Paper Usage
BOR
6-3 Soap and Toilet Paper Exhaustion
BOR
6-4 Dental Floss Disposal
BOR
6-5 Looking in Friend’s Medicine
Cabinet
BOR
6-6 Cotton Swab Utilization and
Disposal
BOR
6-7 Brushing Your Teeth
BOR
6-8 Bathing
BOR
6-9 Showering
BOR
6-10 Men’s Public Restrooms
BOR
6-11 Women’s Public Restrooms
Chapter
VII Dress
BOR
7-1 Age Restricted Clothing Items
BOR
7-2 Towel Folding
BOR
7-3 Men’s Wallet Placement
BOR
7-4 Currency Placement in Wallets
BOR
7-5 Sandals
BOR
7-6 Shoe and Sock Coordination
BOR
7-7 Sock Wear
BOR
7-8 Watch Placement
BOR
7-9 Pajama Wear
BOR
7-10 Washing Instructions Tag
Placement on Sheets
Chapter
VIII Multimedia
BOR
8-1 Commercials at Movie Theaters
BOR 8-2
Movies and Dining Order of Operations
BOR
8-3 Movie
Theater Seat Selection
BOR 8-4
Viewing Movies in Intended Sequence
BOR 8-5
Bingo
BOR 8-6 Television
BOR
8-7 Maximum Allowable DVD’s
BOR
8-8 E-Mail
BOR
8-9 Home Computer Settings
Chapter
IX Shopping
BOR
9-1 Shopping Mall Flow of
Pedestrian Traffic
BOR
9-2 Maximum Allowable Shopping
Times at Malls
BOR
9-3 Designated
Meeting Times
BOR
9-4 Utilizing the Same Entrance at
Malls
BOR
9-5 Checking Out
BOR
9-6 Unnecessary Conversation in
Checkout Lines
BOR
9-7 Holding the Door
BOR
9-8 Personal Clothing Quota
BOR
9-9 Purchasing Seasonal Items
BOR
9-10 Supervising Children
Appendix
A BOR 94.7A-D1 Discrepancy Forms
Chapter
1
Glossary
BOR
1-1 Purpose
The Book of Rules Handbook (BOR 94.7A) was
established to outline acceptable practices and procedures in various social
situations. Many everyday actions, while not illegal or immoral, are generally
considered improper, and are outlined within this handbook. This manual
establishes and reinforces life rules required to be a productive member of
American society.
A. The
BOR 94.7A is applicable to all citizens of the United States and all of its
territories. Although not specifically mandated for citizens outside of the
United States, most BOR 94.7A rules and regulations are generally acceptable
procedures worldwide.
BOR
1-2 Effective Date
The BOR 94.7 is published annually. The effective
date for the BOR 94.7A is July 1, 2009. Successive updates and publications
will be effective on July 1st of following years.
BOR
1-3 Scope
State and federal law override this handbook
whenever specific statutes contradict individual rules or requirements of the
BOR 94.7A. Good judgment shall be utilized when individual statutes are in
question. Additionally, specific regulations may be contrary to the religious
beliefs of an individual. In such cases, individual regulatory exclusions
specific to religious beliefs are permissible.
BOR
1-4 Reference
A copy of the BOR 94.7A shall be kept readily
available for reference at all home and work locations. BOR 94.7A-D1 discrepancy
forms shall also be readily available, and may be utilized as required. Previous
versions are obsolete and shall be replaced as required.
BOR
1-5 BOR 94.7A-D1 Discrepancy Forms
All American adults have a primary responsibility
to issue BOR 94.7A-D1 discrepancy forms to individuals when violations to the
BOR 94.7A are personally observed. No other action is warranted or required. The
violator alone has the specific requirement to ensure that corrective actions
are taken to become compliant with the BOR 94.7A.
A. BOR 94.7A-D1 Discrepancy Forms are
located in Appendix A of this publication.
BOR
1-6 Word Meanings as used in the BOR
94.7A
SHALL
implies an action, motion, or procedure is mandatory.
MAY
implies an action, motion, or procedure is optional.
WILL
implies a future action is mandatory.
INDIVIDUAL
refers to a single person or group of people.
EXCEPTIONS
detail situations in which a specific BOR regulation may be ignored. Exceptions
are generally not inclusive, and good judgment shall be exercised when
considering exceptions not detailed in this manual.
PHRASEOLOGY
details verbatim phrases required in various situations.
PHRASEOLOGY
EXAMPLE details acceptable phrases allowable in
various situations.
BOR
1-7 Submissions
Unsolicited submissions regarding amendments
and additions to the BOR 94.7A are encouraged. Individual submissions shall be
proposed in writing, and must be received prior to January 1st to be
considered for the July 1st update of the following year. The inclusion
decision will be determined solely by the BOR 94.7 Regulatory Board.
Submissions may be completed on-line at www.thebookofrules.com. Submissions
become the property of the BOR 94.7 Regulatory Board after received and will
not be returned.
Chapter
2
Driving
BOR
2-1 Crossing the Path of a Moving Motor
Vehicle
Pedestrians crossing the path of a motor
vehicle shall make personal eye contact with the driver prior to initiating
passage across the path of the vehicle. If eye contact is not initiated, the
driver of the vehicle is warranted to honk the horn, yell loudly, and
aggressively wave his or her fist. Vulgarity is only authorized whenever a violating
pedestrian is operating a cell phone (See
BOR 4-6 C).
BOR
2-2 Changing Automobile Radio Stations
Whenever an automobile passenger begins
singing along with a song on the radio, the singer shall be allowed to continue
singing until the completion of the song. Regardless of the quality of the
singing, the driver may not change the radio station whenever all three of the
following conditions exist.
1. The
singer must be moderately knowledgeable of the song lyrics.
2. The
song is not outside of the genre of the singer’s musical taste.
3. The
singer continues to sing throughout the entire song.
A. The
“Don’t Change the Station. I’m Singing”
option may only be exercised twice each hour by any individual in a moving
motor vehicle (See BOR 2-8).
BOR
2-3 Unnecessary Driving
Driving a motorized vehicle is only authorized
whenever the distance between the departure and destination location exceeds
200 yards. Driving “across the street” and other needless trips are considered
excessive and unnecessary. Such wasteful driving contributes to obesity and is forbidden
except as noted below.
1. Moderate
or greater precipitation is currently occurring (See BOR 3-3 A1).
2. Physical
restrictions of the driver or any passenger prohibit walking.
3. A
song or talk show program warrants additional listening.
4. The
transport of heavy objects would make walking impractical.
5. The
movement of a vehicle is required for maintenance.
BOR 2-4 Green Light Honk
When stopped
at a red light behind one or more vehicles, all vehicles ahead of a driver are
allowed three seconds to accelerate after the light turns green. Honking the
horn is permitted and encouraged after the mandatory three second wait period
has expired. After any vehicle initiates a “Green Light Honk”, successive honks
are forbidden unless an additional three seconds have passed since the previous
“Green Light Honk”.
BOR 2-5 Hang-Up Honk
Except when
expressly forbidden by law, it is allowable to utilize cell phones while
driving. Cell phone driving is permissible for the operator of any motorized
vehicle until a mandatory suspension is required after receiving a “Hang-Up
Honk”. This honk may be initiated by the driver of any motor
vehicle who observes any unsafe driving practices of a cell phone driver.
A. Immediately
after the receipt of a “Hang-Up Honk”, cell phone drivers shall abruptly cease
conversation with the verbatim cell phone termination phrase.
PHRASEOLOGY:
“I’ve been HONKED, I have to go.”
BOR
2-6 Alienating Automobile
Passengers
The driver of
a motor vehicle traveling with passengers shall ensure all vehicle doors are
unlocked before the engine is engaged. Individuals waiting outside a locked car
hearing the engine engage may become severely depressed, facing the possibility
of abandonment. One out of nineteen divorced individuals cited “AAA” as one of
the top three reasons for the separation: “Automobile Abandonment Anxiety”.
A. Passengers
locked outside of a parked vehicle with the engine engaged may shout and knock
loudly on doors and windows.
PHRASEOLOGY EXAMPLE:
“Hey! Did you forget about somebody, Chief?”
1. Vulgarity
is permissible only when severe weather is currently occurring (See BOR 2-10 B1).
B. When
remote control door unlocking is not available, vehicle doors shall be unlocked
in the following order.
1.
Passenger
Door
2.
Right
Rear Door
3.
Left
Rear Door
4.
Driver
Door
BOR
2-7 Preprogramming Automobile Radio
Channels
When automobile options allow drivers to
preprogram favorite radio stations in car stereos, all available channels shall
be set to radio stations of the owners preferred genre within seven days of
legal ownership of the vehicle. Example: Channel 1: 98.3, Channel 2: 99.9, Channel 3: 105.3. This is
accomplished to avoid the unnecessary listening of music or talk radio considered
distasteful by the driver. The ability to rapidly change radio stations after
an unpleasant song begins to play may help to avert a potentially hazardous
driving situation.
BOR
2-8 Control of Vehicular Dashboard
Operations
The driver of a motor vehicle, alone, has
exclusive control of all dashboard controls, including radio configuration and
climate settings. This privilege may be delegated to any passenger after verbal
coordination has been accomplished.
A. Passengers of any age, guilty of three
or more violations in a seven day period, shall lose front seat privileges for
a period designated by the driver, not to exceed thirty days.
B. Passengers in vehicles with separate
dashboard controls may adjust controls without permission from the driver.
BOR 2-9 Parking Alignment
While parking
a vehicle, care should be taken to ensure the vehicle is positioned exactly
halfway between the white parking lines. No portion of the vehicle may be
within ten inches of a white line. Whenever measuring devices are not
available, ten inches may be estimated. If it is determined that a vehicle is
outside of parking tolerance, the vehicle shall be immediately
repositioned.
1. Owners
of RV’s and other large vehicles shall exercise thoughtfulness by parking
towards the rear of the parking lot, when feasible.
B. Groups
traveling in multiple vehicles are excluded from the ten inch restriction between
other individual vehicles within the group. The ten inch restriction applies
between individual vehicles within the group and other vehicles in the lot.
C. Drivers
experiencing engine problems of any variety are exempt from (BOR 2-9). Motorists are allowed a
reasonable amount of time to correct engine problems before repositioning is
required.
BOR
2-10 Stopping During Parking
For the purpose of obtaining a premium
parking spot, stopping a vehicle in a parking lane to wait for a parked vehicle
to exit a spot is forbidden. Stopping in a lane significantly impedes the flow
of traffic and delays vehicles entering and exiting the lot. Individuals
desiring a premium parking location shall slowly circle in a lot until a
premium spot becomes available.
1. Severe weather is defined as any
metrological condition in which driving at a speed in excess of 55 MPH would be
considered unsafe.
BOR 2-11 Replacement of Shopping Carts in Parking
Lots
Shopping
carts shall be either returned to the entryway of shopping facilities, or
placed in cart return receptacles after use. The cart return designee shall be
picked up by the driver if the cart return location is 100 yards or more from
the parked vehicle. Whenever moderate or greater precipitation is currently
occurring (See BOR 3-3 A1), the cart
return designee shall be picked up regardless of the distance between the
vehicle and cart return location.
1. Children
of age able to accomplish the task unsupervised
2. Passengers
of motor vehicle riding in a rear seat
3. Passengers
of motor vehicle riding in the front passenger seat
4. The
driver of the motor vehicle
Chapter
3
Food
BOR 3-1 Fast Food Line Priority for Missed Items
When it is
observed that any of the following corresponding food complements are missing
from a completed fast food order, individuals may immediately proceed to the front
of the line to request the appropriate missing food complement. This will be
accomplished by politely bypassing others currently in line and addressing
employees directly.
Ordered Item Missing
Item Initiating Line Priority
French
Fries Ketchup
Taco,
Burrito, or Similar Item Salsa
French
Toast Sticks, Pancakes Syrup
Iced
Tea Sweetener
of any Variety
Any
Entrée Requiring Eating Utensil Required
Eating Utensil
Any
Food Item Napkin
PHRASEOLOGY EXAMPLE: “Hey! Where’s my salsa?”
BOR
3-2 Paying For Fast Food with Change
Paying for fast food with change is forbidden
whenever a customer has other options for payment. All fast food monetary transactions
shall be expedited as promptly as possible. Paying with change delays
individuals in line behind a customer, confuses “currency impaired” cashiers,
and delays the delivery of a meal.
A. Paying for fast food with change is
only allowable when a dining patron has no other form or currency and all four
of the following conditions exist.
1. No
patrons are in line behind purchaser
2. Paying
with change will not inordinately delay a fast food purchase
3. Distractions,
such as small children, will not disturb the counting process
4. Loud
noises are avoided in the organization of coins
B. Paying with change for all goods and
services is permissible without restriction for all transactions except fast
food (See BOR 9-5 B).
BOR
3-3 Allowable Utilization of Fast Food
Drive-Thru Windows
Drive-Thru windows at restaurants may only be
utilized when three cars or less are currently in line. Otherwise, the motor
vehicle shall be parked in accordance with (BOR
2-9), and food orders shall be obtained inside the eating establishment. This
practice expedites the delivery of the meal.
Allowable Exceptions to Enter Drive-Thru with
Four Vehicles or More in Line:
A. Precipitation
is currently occurring of a moderate degree or greater.
1. Moderate
precipitation is defined as moisture landing on the windshield of a motor
vehicle to such a degree that driving without wipers would be considered unsafe.
B. Physical
restrictions exist with the driver or any passenger.
C. Driving
patrons have a personal relationship with an individual working in the eating
establishment’s drive-thru window.
1. Personal
conversation between patrons and restaurant staff are limited to sixty seconds
whenever other vehicles are observed in line behind the driver.
D. The
disturbance of an infant would be required to enter an eating establishment.
BOR 3-4 Preplanning Drive-Thru Orders
To the extent
possible, individual fast food selections shall be determined before a vehicle
enters a drive-thru line. Fast food selections shall be clearly communicated to
the driver before the vehicle is positioned at the ordering window. Food
selection changes shall be kept to a minimum, but are authorized with the
non-availability of desired menu items.
BOR 3-5 Bread Loaf Seal Replacement
After any
number of slices of bread are removed from a sealed loaf of bread, the airtight
receptacle shall be resealed with a twist tie or the flat plastic chip to
contain air. Countless numbers of otherwise great lunches are needlessly
spoiled by stale bread. Most loving parents teach their kids about love, work
ethics, and manners, but fail to teach their children, the leaders of tomorrow,
about proper bread loaf sealant procedures.
A.
When
bread sealant devices are not available, the loaf shall be sealed by twisting
the plastic bread wrapper a minimum of three times. The twisted end shall be
folded under the loaf to prevent spoilage.
BOR 3-6 Ketchup Placement
When applying
ketchup to a dinner plate, care should be taken to ensure ketchup is placed on
the side of food. French fries and similar food items shall never be smothered
with ketchup. Food items drowned with any condiment, including ketchup,
reflects the inferior intelligence of the eater and is a violation of (BOR 3-8 C1).
Illustration
3-6 Proper Ketchup Placement
BOR 3-7 Ice Replenishment
BOR 3-8 Taco Ingredient Placement
When tacos
are prepared within the home, individual taco ingredients shall be placed from
the bottom to the top of the taco according to the (BOR 3-8 A), Vertical Taco Placement Chart. Any
undesired ingredient may be omitted in the preparation of the taco. Regardless
of taste, it is strictly forbidden to place a lower priority taco item above a
higher priority taco item. Example: placing ground beef above lettuce.
A. Vertical
Taco Placement Chart
1. Top
of the taco: sour cream
2. Second
Item: salsa, or other liquid sauce
3. Third
Item: cheese
4. Fourth
Item: black olives
5. Fifth
Item: tomatoes
6. Sixth
Item: lettuce
7. Seventh
Item: any refried bean item
8. Bottom
of the taco: meat, or meat substitute
B. Additional
taco ingredients not on this list may be placed in any vertical position of the
taco. However, no item shall be placed below the meat or above the sour cream.
C. Any
deviation from (BOR 3-8) clearly
demonstrates the lack of good taste and respect of one’s food.
1. Respect your food.
BOR 3-9 Authorized Drinking Receptacles
Beverages
shall only be served and consumed in their authorized corresponding drinking
receptacle. Individual cups may be appropriate for certain types of beverages
and inappropriate for others. The Authorized
Drinking Receptacle Chart details individual beverages with their corresponding
acceptable cups. Good judgment shall be exercised when considering cup
selection for beverages not on this list.
A. Authorized Drinking Receptacle Chart
Beverage Allowable Receptacle
Milk
or Milk Based Drink Glass or Paper
Beer
and Wine Any Non-Plastic Cup
Coffee Tea or Coffee Cup, Styrofoam,
Plastic, Paper
Water Any Drinking Receptacle
Juice
Any Receptacle except Wine Glass unless Mixed with Alcohol
Soda
Any Drinking Receptacle
B. The
following exceptions to the Authorized Drinking Receptacle Chart are
authorized, however consuming milk from any receptacle other than glass or
paper is forbidden except as outlined in (BOR
3-9 B3).
1. Monetary
restrictions deny individuals from a complete kitchen complement.
2. Drinking
beverages away from home. However, all efforts shall be exhausted to determine
appropriate cup availability before consuming beverages from an unauthorized receptacle.
3. Drinking
milk in a glass or paper receptacle is specifically contrary to the religious
beliefs of an individual.
BOR 3-10 Gum
A supply of
gum shall be kept at home, in automobiles, and in purses when applicable. Gum
shall be shared readily with others when enjoyed. When selecting a piece of gum
within a pack to be chewed, care should be taken to select pieces in the center
of the pack. Successive pieces shall be chosen from the center, outward, with
the final two pieces to be the outer two pieces within the pack of gum.
BOR 3-11 Empty Milk Carton Replacement
After a milk
carton is emptied, it shall be promptly discarded or recycled. Placing an empty
milk carton back in the refrigerator may irritate other individuals seeking a
milk beverage or a milk compliment to other food items such as cereal or
oatmeal. Careless empty carton placement sparks anger within the home and may
trigger unnecessary unpleasantness.
A. Milk cartons shall be discarded
immediately after determining the milk has soured.
BOR 3-12 Cup Orientation in Kitchen Cabinets
All
cups shall be placed face down in kitchen cabinets. There are obvious
“disadvantages” to placing cups in both the up and down positions in cabinets.
Placing cups face up results in the accumulation of dust particles in drink
receptacles, which will be mixed with beverages when a drink is poured. Placing
cups face down directly exposes the rim of the glass to cabinet shelves
possibly containing contaminants. The exposure of the small surface area of the
rim is favorable to the exposure of the entire surface area of the inside of
the glass.
Illustration 3-12 – Proper Cup Orientation in Kitchen
Cabinets
A. The following circumstances allow a
face-up placement of cups in cabinets, but will ultimately result in the ingestion
of airborne dust particles:
1. Drinking
receptacles have an uneven glass rim resulting in a lopsided “upside-down”
placement.
2. Cabinet
shelves have an unusual design resulting in properly placed cups utilizing an
inordinate amount of cabinet space.
3. Decorative
cups are displayed not intended for use.
Chapter
4
Manners
BOR 4-1 Yawning
While
experiencing a yawn, talking is forbidden from the moment an individual is
aware that a yawn is initially occurring until one second after the completion
of the yawn. Speaking during a yawn completely exposes the mouth and all that
it may contain. Additionally, words spoken while yawning may be misinterpreted
with potential dire consequences. Individuals who have spoken
the words “sax” and “ship” while yawning know this all too well.
BOR
4-2 Sneezing
After it is determined that a sneeze is
imminent, the sneeze shall be completely executed. No attempt shall be made to suppress
a sneeze, regardless of the social situation. If time allows, one or two hands
shall be placed over the mouth to reduce the spread of germs.
A. After
a sneeze has been executed, all individuals within listening distance of the
sneeze have the initial requirement to render a sneeze response phrase, such as
“God Bless You”.
B. Only
one sneeze response is required, but additional sneeze responses may be issued
by anyone in the audible proximity of the sneeze. The (BOR 4-2 C) Sneeze Responder Priority List shall be utilized to
determine the individual with the primary responsibility for issuing the sneeze
response. Individuals shall wait two seconds to respond to a sneeze if a higher
priority responder is in the immediate proximity of the sneezer.
C. Sneeze
Responder Priority List
1. The
spouse of the sneezer
2. Family
members of the sneezer
3. Friends
of the sneezer
4. Others
in the audible proximity of the sneeze
D. After
hearing a sneeze response, the sneezer shall reply with a gracious “Thank You”,
or similar reply. This action shall be accomplished within five seconds after receiving
a sneeze response.
E. In
the case of successive sneezes, only the first two sneezes require a sneeze
response. Successive sneezes require no additional action.
BOR
4-3 Farting
Farting is allowable in most social situations,
but shall be executed appropriately and tastefully. Unless noise and odor might
offend other individuals in a confined space, no attempt shall be made to
withhold a fart. Fart suppression may cause unnecessary suffering and is
generally discouraged.
A. Farting
noise shall be limited to the extent possible.
B. Upon
the receipt of a remark detailing the disgust of fart odor, the farter shall
offer an apologetic response, such as “Excuse me”.
C. The
practice of smiling and waving above one’s middle section after farting is
forbidden. Such practices encourage voluntary farting.
D. Farting
is allowable without restriction whenever:
1. A
farter is alone.
2. A male
farter is among a group of other males and no females are present.
3. A farter
is ill, bedridden, or hospitalized.
4. A farter
is attending any public event with 100 or more individuals in attendance, and
sufficient ambient noise exists to mask the farting noise and source.
BOR 4-4
Burping
Burping
and belching are allowable at all times. Burping noise shall be minimalized
whenever deemed socially inappropriate. The preferred writing hand shall be
utilized to suppress expulsion. An immediate response, such as “Excuse me”
shall be expressed after the completion of the burp or belch.
BOR
4-5 Halitosis
Halitosis is defined as a noticeable breath
odor while exhaling. Proper hygiene habits such as regular brushing and gargling
with mouthwash will reduce or eliminate the condition. It is a civic
responsibility to politely inform individuals with breath odor.
A. Informing
individuals with bad breath shall be accomplished discretely, ensuring the
conversation is not overheard.
B. Brief,
polite statements shall be utilized to inform those with bad breath.
PHRASEOLOGY
EXAMPLE: “You might want to brush your teeth.”
C. In
lieu of notifying an individual of halitosis, the offering of a breath mint or
gum adequately satisfies (BOR 4-5 B).
D. After
an individual is notified of bad breath, the noxious exhaler shall immediately
excuse himself to remedy the oral situation by brushing, gargling, or other
means.
BOR
4-6 Cell Phones
Individuals operating cell phones in public
shall continually maintain situational awareness. Cell phone users shall be
receptive to the conversation and body language of others while engaging in
cell phone conversation. The public operation of cell phones shall be conducted
in a professional and courteous manner. The following list of cell phone
procedures is mandated whenever a cell phone is operated in public.
A. Live
conversation takes precedence over cell phone conversation.
B. An
apologetic statement shall be spoken before live conversation is interrupted to
engage in cell phone conversation.
PHRASEOLOGY
EXAMPLE: “Excuse me, I’ve got a call.”
C. Cell
phone conversation shall be abruptly terminated whenever any situation develops
which may require the complete attention of a cell phone user.
D. Cell
phones shall not be utilized whenever conversation may hinder driving (See BOR 2-5).
E. Forwarding
cell phone text messages is strictly forbidden, unless the forwarded message
specifically pertains to the recipient.
BOR
4-7 Smoking
Smoking is unquestionably an unhealthy habit.
New laws continue to make the practice more restrictive resulting in cleaner
air for everyone. The following procedures are mandatory in addition to
applicable state and federal laws.
A. Smoking
in the designated smoking section of a restaurant is only permitted when all
individuals within a group are known smokers.
B. The
practice of smacking a fresh pack of cigarettes on the wrist for the purpose of
forcing the tobacco toward the filter is allowable, yet discouraged.
1. This
practice is forbidden when it would cause a distraction in an inappropriate
environment, such as a movie theater or college classroom.
C. For
luck, the first cigarette smoked in a pack shall be the third from the left in
the front row.
Illustration
4-7 First Cigarette Selection
BOR 4-8 Entering and Exiting Elevators
Individuals
shall calmly and politely enter and exit elevators at all establishments. The
following elevator procedures are mandatory unless an emergency situation exists.
A. All
exiting individuals shall be allowed to egress before elevator boarding may occur.
B. Children
under the age of 12 shall be allowed to “press the button” unless multiple
children are present and feuding may occur.
C. Whenever
polite conversation is initiated by another elevator occupant, acknowledgement
is mandatory.
1. Conversational
acknowledgement may be accomplished verbally or non-verbally with a smile, nod,
or other polite gestures.
D. Socially
discouraged practices such as swearing and farting (see BOR 4-3) shall be avoided to the extent possible after the
elevator doors have closed.
BOR
4-9 Addressing Grandparents
Grandparents are addressed with a variety of
affectionate names such as Grammy, Granny, and Grandpappy. Most names are permissible,
but the individual grandparent alone has the sole authorization in title
selection. Individual grandparent name selection shall be accomplished shortly
after the birth of the first grandchild.
A. If
more than one grandparent selects the same title, authorization for a specific
title is granted to the grandparent who selects the title first. Other
grandparents shall select another title.
B. Titles
shall not contain vulgarity or words inappropriate when spoken in public.
C. Multiple
titles are prohibited. For example, an individual grandparent cannot be “Mammy”
to one grandchild and “Grandma” to another.
D. Occasional
title changes are permitted, provided all grandchildren are promptly notified
of the change.
Chapter 5
The Home
BOR
5-1 Sixty Second Sofa Seat Reservation
An individual leaving his or her spot on the
sofa with the intention of returning to the same position shall initiate a sixty
second sofa seat reservation. Reservations shall be accomplished verbally. After
a sofa seat reservation has been initiated, a sixty second countdown begins. No
person may occupy any portion of the sofa occupied by the exiting individual
during the countdown period. The exiting individual may reclaim the sofa
position at any time during the countdown. After the sixty second countdown
period has expired, the empty spot on the sofa may be occupied by any
individual on a first come, first serve basis.
PHRASEOLOGY
EXAMPLE: “Save my seat, Sam.”
BOR 5-2 Wind Chimes
The pleasant
sound of wind chimes is relaxing and creates a sense of peace in most individuals
hearing the sound. However, the noise may prohibit neighbors from sleeping.
Wind chimes are authorized for urban residents, provided verbal or written
permission is obtained from all neighboring residents within the aural distance
of the wind chimes.
A. Verbal
approval shall be accomplished with at least one witness.
B. Written
approval shall be retained and available for immediate retrieval upon request.
PHRASEOLOGY
EXAMPLE: I, [Andy Mason], authorize neighbor, [Anne Jezek] to
display outdoor wind chimes without restriction. I formally release [Anne Jezek]
from all liability of sleep loss, vertigo, or other medical and mental
conditions that may occur as a direct result from the display of outdoor wind
chimes.
C. Wind
chimes are authorized for rural residents without restriction.
BOR
5-3 Refrigerator Decoration
Kitchen refrigerators may be adorned with
small items such as photographs, children’s artwork, and “to do” lists in any
combination with a maximum total limit of seven items. These items shall be
rotated on a regular basis. Items may be displayed on the front or either side
of a refrigerator. Exceeding the maximum limit of seven items significantly
increases kitchen clutter.
A. Whenever kitchen refrigerators are
decorated with one or more items, one of the maximum seven items shall be a
list of emergency contact telephone numbers.
BOR 5-4 Door Coin Placement
For the
purpose of luck enhancement, at least one coin shall be placed above the door
trim of the main entryway of every home. This shall be accomplished by the resident
of the home, regardless of ownership. Coins may be any denomination but shall
be legal currency for the geographical location of the home. This action shall
be completed within 72 hours of establishing residence in a home. Coins left by
previous residents shall be left in place, but may be examined for brief
periods, provided they are promptly replaced. Whenever coins from previous
residents prevent the placement of additional coins, new coins shall be placed
above the trim of any other door in the home.
BOR 5-5 Smoke Detector Battery Replacement
Smoke detectors save lives. Smoke detectors
shall be kept in proper working order, and batteries shall be replaced, as
needed. A commonly accepted practice suggests battery replacement is
accomplished on the day of daylight savings time and the day reverting to
standard time each year. This recommended practice is optional. However, after
the low battery chirp from a smoke alarm is first heard, the batteries shall be
immediately replaced for two very distinct but equally important reasons:
1. The
safety of all individuals residing in the home is jeopardized with an
improperly operating smoke detector.
2.
The risk of criminal insanity threatens
everyone in the household with the audible low battery chirp heard at regular
intervals.
BOR 5-6 Kitchen Cabinets and Drawers
To the extent possible, small kitchen items
shall be stored in kitchen cabinets and drawers. Small kitchen items shall not
be stored on countertops unless sufficient counter space does not exist or
items are routinely utilized. Except as required below, all household members
shall agree on the placement of all kitchen items.
A. Pots
and pans shall be stored in the nearest cabinet to the kitchen stove.
B. Cloth
protective items, such as pot holders, shall be stored in the nearest drawer to
the kitchen stove.
C. General
use silverware shall be placed in the drawer nearest to the kitchen sink.
D. Small
miscellaneous kitchen items shall be stored in a designated junk drawer or
holding receptacle on the kitchen counter
E. Close
friends and family members of homeowners forced to search for incorrectly
stored kitchen items are authorized to collect and hide all small kitchen items
for a period not to exceed ten days.
2. Whenever
(BOR 5-6 E) is executed, a note with
the verbatim “Kitchen Scolding Phrase” shall be left.
PHRASEOLOGY: “You
are in violation of (BOR 5-6), and your
small kitchen items have been temporarily removed. Your kitchen items will be
returned in (period within the ten day
limit) days. Please be more considerate to your friends and family after
your kitchen items are returned.”
BOR
5-7 Kitchen Clocks
Unless monetarily disallowed, one, and only
one wall clock shall be placed in the kitchen at the average eye level of all adult
residents within a home. This is required regardless of the existence of
additional digital time displays on appliances. Wall clocks may be placed on
any wall of the kitchen, but shall be visible from any position in the room.
A. Kitchen
wall clocks shall be mechanical.
B. All kitchen
appliance digital time displays shall be set to agree with a tolerance of +/-
10 seconds of each other and the wall clock.
1. Clocks
may be intentionally set fast or slow for various reasons, provided all clocks
are coordinated appropriately within the ten second tolerance.
BOR 5-8 Answering Phone Calls for Other Individuals
When
answering the phone at home, the identity of a caller shall be determined
and expressed before handing the phone to the designated recipient. The
precious few moments of preparation between an individual receiving the phone
and vocal exchange prepare the phone call recipient for conversation. Simple
phrases such as, “It’s Tom,” or “Jimmy wants to talk to you” are acceptable.
A. After
an individual is advised of the identity of a caller, they have the option of
receiving the call.
B. Phone call recipients shall directly
refer to the caller by name, if known. Example: “Hello Tom,” or “Hello Jimmy.”
BOR 5-9
Trash
One
trash receptacle shall be designated as primary and placed in the kitchen of
every home. Secondary trash receptacles are required in every bathroom, and
optional for all other rooms. All trash bins shall be emptied weekly, or
whenever trash levels meet or exceed the rim of the receptacle, whichever comes
first. A single individual shall be assigned the primary responsibility of
trash removal within the home.
BOR 5-10 Outdoor Holiday Decorations
Outdoor
holiday decorations may be displayed at any time that purchase is authorized as
outlined in (BOR 9-9), Purchasing Seasonal Items. When
displayed, holiday decorations shall be removed within two weeks after the end
of the holiday. Outdoor Christmas decorations may be displayed slightly longer,
but in no event shall these items be displayed after January 31st of
the following year.
A. Outdoor
seasonal holiday lights, when displayed, shall be operated from dusk until three
hours after sunset. Automatic electric timers may be utilized to accomplish
this task.
B. Seasonal
outdoor display competitions between neighbors are authorized. However, spite
decorating is strictly prohibited. Good taste and sound judgment shall be
exercised when considering individual displays.
1. Spite
decorating is defined as the practice of intentionally excessively decorating
for the sole purpose of impressing or belittling neighbors.
Chapter
6
Bathrooms
BOR 6-1 Toilet Paper Selection and Placement
Good judgment should be exercised in the
selection of toilet paper. Only premium paper shall be utilized. Even the
thriftiest of individuals are encouraged to splurge monetarily in three
specific areas:
1. Tipping
those who prepare one’s food
2. Tipping
those who style one’s hair
3. Premium
toilet paper
The following procedures are essential in the
purchase and display of toilet paper within the home.
A. Only
quilted, two-ply toilet paper shall be utilized unless personal financial hardship prevents the purchase of premium
paper.
1. The
removal of frivolous household expenses, such as health club membership and
cable TV shall be accomplished before non-premium toilet paper is purchased.
B. A sufficient
supply of toilet paper shall be maintained within the home preventing (BOR 6-3) Soap and Toilet Paper Exhaustion
from being executed.
1. Replacement
toilet paper shall be stored in a convenient area within the bathroom,
preferably a bathroom closet or under the bathroom sink.
C. Toilet
paper shall be dispensed from the roll with new sheets advancing from the
bottom of the roll.
Illustration
6-1 C Proper Toilet Paper Placement
1. Whenever
an individual observes an incorrectly placed roll of toilet paper, the roll
shall be removed and properly placed immediately.
a. In
the case of a houseguest “righting” a toilet paper roll, the homeowner shall be
politely notified.
PHRASEOLOGY EXAMPLE:
“Hey Clifford, your toilet paper was on wrong!”
BOR 6-2 Toilet Paper Usage
Along with coal, lumber, and oil, premium
toilet paper is a natural resource, and shall be treated with respect. The
wasteful practice of abusing toilet paper clogs toilets, rapidly diminishes
household toilet paper supplies, and reduces our national supply of premium
toilet paper.
A. Toilet
paper sheets shall be dispensed four sheets or less with each tear.
1. Additional
dispensing of four sheets or less is permissible as needed.
B. Toilet
paper sheets will be torn at the perforation from the right to the left.
C. Care
shall be taken to protect toilet paper from stray water, which may dampen the
roll and reduce its effectiveness and absorbency.
BOR 6-3 Soap and Toilet Paper Exhaustion
The complete exhaustion
of a supply of bathroom soap or toilet paper shall initiate a 24 hour countdown
to replacement. The individual who becomes initially aware of the complete
exhaustion of either soap or toilet paper has the primary responsibility of
replenishment. The transfer of replacement responsibility to another individual
shall only be exercised when another individual may more expeditiously
accomplish replacement.
A.
Bar
soap is considered unusable after the width is reduced to a thickness of Ľ inch
or less. Bar soap shall be discarded and replaced after the Ľ inch thickness is
first observed.
B.
Guests
utilizing restrooms at friends and neighbors homes are exempt from (BOR 6-5), Looking in Friend’s Medicine
Cabinets, whenever a complete exhaustion is suspected.
BOR 6-4 Dental Floss Disposal
Used dental
floss shall be promptly discarded in an appropriate trash receptacle
immediately after use. When a restroom trash receptacle does not exist as
required (See BOR 5-9), the used
floss shall be promptly hand carried and disposed in the nearest trash receptacle.
Used floss shall never be placed on bathroom counters. The intentional reckless
disposal of soiled floss promotes the spread of countless infectious diseases.
BOR 6-5 Looking in Friend’s Medicine Cabinet
During a
bathroom visit, it is strictly forbidden to open a friend’s bathroom cabinet or
closet door unless a genuine need exists. Allowable needs include, but are not
limited to missing towels, toilet paper exhaustion, or similar situations. Many
friendships have been needlessly ended by the innocent act of “sneaking a
peek.” Looking in a friend’s medicine cabinet is a betrayal of trust in any
relationship.
BOR
6-6 Cotton Swab Utilization and
Disposal
Ear wax removal with an FDA approved cotton
swab shall be accomplished at least once each month. The cotton swab is the
universally recognized and recommended method for ear wax removal. Eliminating
ear wax improves hearing and reduces the unsightly appearance of wax in the
ears. The following procedures are required for all individuals.
A. Monthly
ear cleaning shall include at least two fresh swabs to be applied to each ear.
B.
Immediately after use, each cotton swab shall
be bent before discarding to prevent the unintentional reuse of the swab.
BOR 6-7 Brushing Your Teeth
Teeth shall
be thoroughly brushed after each meal and before going to bed. Only soft
bristled ADA approved brushes will be used, as medium
and hard bristle brushes irritate the gums. The following additional brushing
restrictions apply.
A. The
utilization of another individual’s toothbrush is strictly forbidden.
B. All
toothbrushes shall be placed in a holding receptacle, bristles up, when not in
use. Any holding receptacle satisfies this requirement, provided the bristles
of brushes do not touch countertops or other surfaces including other brushes.
C. Teeth
shall be brushed at least ten inches away from bathroom mirrors.
D. Whenever
less than 50% of toothpaste remains in the tube, the brusher shall force as
much toothpaste as possible to the front of the tube.
1. Forcing
toothpaste to the front of the tube may be accomplished by rolling the rear of
the tube, sliding the tube across the edge of the bathroom countertop, or other
means.
BOR 6-8 Bathing
For the
purpose of body cleansing, showering is generally the preferred method. Bathing
is soothing and peaceful, and is allowable for relaxation. However, bathtub bathing
is an ineffective method for body cleansing, as much of the dirt and grime
washed off the body is reabsorbed into the skin.
BOR 6-9 Showering
For the
purpose of body cleansing, showering is generally the preferred method (See BOR 6-8). Showering most
effectively cleanses the body by rinsing the body from the top down. While
showering, individual body parts shall be cleansed from the head to the feet.
A.
Showering
shall be accomplished daily. To ensure maximum daily cleanliness, showers shall
be taken in the morning unless an evening shower will provide a specific
operational advantage.
B. Feet, specifically, shall be picked up
and washed. Soap and water running over the feet does meet the cleansing
requirement.
1. It is unclear how many job interviews
failed, and dates were unsuccessful due solely to bad hair. Improperly sealed
shampoo items have hindered countless careers, and are a contributing factor in
many failed relationships.
BOR 6-10 Men’s Public Restrooms
It is often necessary for males to utilize
public restrooms with urinals placed in a row along a wall. This creates a
shoulder to shoulder configuration of men while “doing their business”. This is
quite uncomfortable for most men. These guidelines were established to reduce
the perceived reduction of manhood while conducting a necessary bodily
function. All of the following
restrictions apply only when a man is actually “in position” behind a urinal.
A. Every
effort shall be made to avoid eye contact with other individuals utilizing the
facility.
B. Vocal
exchanges are forbidden.
1. Conversation
with other individuals shall be abruptly halted after a man stands in position
behind a urinal.
2. Halted
conversation may be promptly resumed after a man is no longer in position.
3. Brief
statements may be made in position if it is determined that omission will have
a significant negative impact on anyone in the facility. For example, “I saw a
rat in that urinal”, is allowed to be spoken while in position.
a. Acknowledgement
to necessary statements shall always be accomplished nonverbally. These
acknowledgements are generally affirmative or negative nods and hand gestures.
C. Head
motion is restricted to 20 degrees to the left or right of the centerline of
the orientation of an individual while in position.
D. Loud
moans and sighs of relief while in position are permissible when not directed
at other individuals, and no comprehendible words can be discerned.
1. This
practice is generally considered vulgar and strongly discouraged.
BOR
6-11 Women’s Public Restrooms
The procedures for utilizing women’s public
restrooms differ considerably from male facilities, and are significantly less
restrictive. As women’s visits to public restrooms are often a social visit,
good manners and grace shall always be exercised to the extent possible. These
guidelines were established to enhance communications, reduce long lines, and
streamline the effectiveness of an often chaotic process.
1. Whenever
bathroom facilities are overcrowded, and long lines are present, women shall
utilize facilities as expeditiously as possible. Social interactions shall be
conducted promptly and politely.
1.
Any conversation falling
under the Women’s Code of Communication
shall be abruptly terminated after any of the conversing women exit the
restroom.
2.
Loitering in employee or
public restrooms for the sole purpose of overhearing information covered under
the Women’s Code of Communication is
prohibited.
Chapter
7
Dress
BOR
7-1 Age Restricted Clothing Items
Clothing items identified as “teen wear” in
popular magazines and media shall not be worn by any individual over the age of
23. This restriction applies both in public and private. The term “teen wear”
is rather generic and good judgment shall be exercised when applying this
application. For the 2000-2009 decade, the most commonly identified teen wear
items are currently:
BOR 7-2 Towel Folding
The common
American 2’ by 4’ towel shall be folded as follows: Top to bottom, top to
bottom, and then a tri-fold from left to right. Adherence to this regulation is
paramount. Numerous instances of vandalism have occurred after friends and
neighbors illegally investigate linen closets (See BOR 6-5) in bathrooms. Their disgust at the sight of
improperly folded towels has sparked cruel and occasionally violent acts.
A.
Temporary
living arrangements or insufficient cabinet space permit alternative towel
folding options provided all household occupants agree.
Illustration 7-2 Proper Towel Folding Procedure
BOR 7-3 Men’s Wallet Placement
A man’s
wallet shall be placed in the front right pocket, and keys shall be placed in
the front left pocket. Several independent studies have been conducted on this
subject with various results. It should be noted here that a large percentage
of American males wear their wallet in a rear pocket. They are all wrong. The
rear pocket wallet practice reduces comfort while sitting, and increases the
odds of becoming a victim of theft.
BOR 7-4 Currency Placement in Wallets
The placement
of bills in wallets shall be in ascending order and from left to right. As the
wallet opens, ones shall be placed first, fives next, and so on. A well
organized wallet assists in expediting transactions in checkout lines and
minimizes delays. The process of checking out is reduced by an average of 48
seconds for individuals with a well organized wallet. Over a lifetime of shopping visits, this results
in the elimination of sixteen total days needlessly spent waiting in line.
BOR 7-5 Sandals
Socks shall
never be worn with sandals. Sandals are generally worn to allow air to
circulate over the feet, which produces a cooling effect. Wearing socks significantly
negates this process. Further, Americans are constantly videotaped, and with
the popularity of the Internet, many sock and sandal wearers are unfortunately
viewed worldwide. These individuals often symbolize American society, one of
the causes of the decline of American popularity in recent years.
BOR 7-6 Shoe and Sock Coordination
Whenever athletic shoes are worn, white tube
socks shall be worn. Further, whenever dress shoes are worn, dress socks shall
be worn. Dress socks may be any color, including white. Violators of this
requirement are generally middle aged married men.
A. The potential consequences of violating
(BOR 7-6) may include, but are not limited to:
1. Sneers,
laughter, and other unwelcome gestures from teenage girls
2. Clothing
discrimination
3. An embarrassing
social situation in which a violator is incorrectly identified as a mentally
challenged individual
B. Violators shall be tactfully notified.
PHRASEOLOGY EXAMPLE: “Hey Harry, have you
looked at your feet today?”
BOR 7-7 Sock Wear
Socks shall not be worn outside the home
without shoes. Socks shall be removed before exiting the home, or shoes shall
be worn over socks prior to any individual exiting a residence. Temporary
exceptions to style regulations (BOR 7-5)
and (BOR 7-6) are permitted for short
errands with a duration of sixty seconds or less, permitted that individuals do
not exit the physical property they own or rent.
BOR 7-8 Watch Placement
Whenever a
watch is worn in public, it shall be worn on the wrist opposite of the
preferred writing hand, facing outward. Wearing a watch with the time piece
facing inward forces the wearer to turn their wrist inward to view the time.
Statistically, watch wearers glance at their watch 18.266 times daily. The
annual energy wasted in the needless wrist turning multiplied by 18.266
multiplied by the number of watch wearers in North America would power the city
of Waterloo, Illinois for nine weeks.
Illustration 7-8 Correct Watch Placement
BOR 7-9 Pajama Wear
Individuals shall
be dressed in “day clothing” within two hours after awakening, regardless of
intentions to leave the house or other people present. Human dignity mandates
the daily change of clothing. Pajamas may be worn in the home from shortly
before bedtime until two hours after an individual awakens. Pajama wear is not
permitted outside the home except for the swift retrieval of mail, morning
newspaper, or other brief activities within the yard lasting 60 seconds or
less.
BOR 7-10 Washing Instructions Tag Placement on Sheets
Sheets and
blankets shall be arranged on beds with the washing care tag positioned at the
foot of the bed. This applies to all mattress compliments such as comforters,
blankets, and quilts. Tags placed at the head of the bed (pillow side) hinder
restful sleeping by distracting individuals in bed. Additionally, sleeping with
the tag at the head of the bed is generally seen as an act of dishonor in most
industrialized nations.
Chapter
8
Multimedia
BOR 8-1 Commercials at Movie Theaters
The practice of airing commercials before a
theater feature presentation has become commonplace. This will not be
tolerated. Immediately after the viewing of paid movie, each ticket holder shall
personally complain to the management whenever commercials were viewed prior to
the airing of the movie. Along with voting, jury duty, and community service,
this is a primary civic duty of every American. With widespread adherence of
this regulation, the practice of airing theater commercials will ultimately be
terminated.
A. Delivery of complaints may be
accomplished by telephone, mail, e-mail, or in person. This shall be
accomplished by each ticketholder within 24 hours of the completion of a
feature presentation.
PHRASEOLOGY EXAMPLES:
1. “I
didn’t just pay $9.50 to watch ads for soap,”
2. “Don’t
you make enough money from the $5 sodas?”
3. “My
uncle Ernie is a lot bigger than you. He hates paying $5 for a soda, and really bad things happen when he
watches ads for soap.”
BOR 8-2 Movies and Dining Order of Operations
When planning
an evening consisting of dinner and a movie, the movie shall be viewed before
dinner. Whenever a movie is viewed after dining, sufficient hunger does not
exist to thoroughly enjoy theater food items such as nachos and popcorn.
Further, the inevitable burping (BOR 4-4),
farting (BOR 4-3), and tooth picking
noise cause unnecessary distractions in the theater.
No
Talking During Movies No
Cell Phones No Dining Before Movies
Illustration
8-2 Prohibited Theater Activities
BOR 8-3 Movie Theater Seat Selection
Optimal movie
viewing is experienced in the center of the last row of the theater. Theater seat
selection shall be as close as possible to last row. This position allows
features to be viewed at a slight downward angle providing maximum comfort. The
center rear seats are positioned to allow the greatest audio range from
advanced audio sound systems. Additionally, ambient noise from other movie
patrons is significantly reduced and often eliminated.
BOR 8-4 Viewing Movies in Intended Sequence
All feature
length motion pictures shall be viewed in sequence in movie theaters. Watching
movies in sequence increases understanding and reduces the probability of moviegoers
causing distractions by asking plot questions during a film. For example, it is
strictly forbidden to view “Why I Like
Yarn PART III”, before Parts I and II are viewed.
BOR 8-5 Bingo
Screaming the
word “Bingo” is expressly forbidden in the viewing area of a movie
theater after the lights have dimmed.
BOR
8-6 Television
Television may be watched up to a maximum of
four hours daily. If any amount of television is viewed throughout the day,
some portion must consist of non-fictional programs such as news, documentaries,
or discussion.
1. Television
commercial viewing is allowable during major sporting events such as the Super Bowl.
Multimillion dollar commercials are often more entertaining than the sporting
event itself.
BOR 8-7 Maximum Allowable DVDs
The total
number of prerecorded DVDs retained in the home shall be minimalized to the
extent possible. Excessive DVD collections contribute to clutter and
disorganization within the home. Each individual within a household is allowed
up to a maximum of 20 prerecorded DVDs when a video rental store operates within
fifteen miles of the home.
BOR 8-8 E-Mail
E-Mail
shall be considered formal communication. Every transmitted message shall
contain a subject, salutation, and signature. Messages containing incomplete
sentences and phrases are authorized, yet discouraged. The spell check feature
shall be utilized, when available, before each message is transmitted. When
utilizing E-Mail applications without a spell check feature, the document shall
be briefly scanned for errors before transmission.
A. E-Mail
messages shall never be composed whenever an individual has a blood alcohol
content beyond the legal driving limit in the State in which he or she resides.
Self
Sobriety Test: When electronic alcohol sensors are not
available, self sobriety may be determined by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance
aloud, without error, in seven seconds or less.
B. E-Mail
messages shall not be forwarded unless the message contains information specifically
pertinent to the recipient. All non-pertinent text shall be removed before
transmittal.
C.
Unsolicited E-mails with attachments of 1MB
or larger shall not be transmitted to a recipient with a known dial-up internet
connection without permission.
BOR 8-9 Home Computer Settings
Home computer
settings shall not be altered by any individual except the owner or primary
operator of a computer. Computer owners may designate to others the authority
to make changes to computer settings. Such designations may be written or verbal.
Millions of dollars are spent annually replacing computer monitors destroyed by
angry computer users after home computer settings have been illegally altered.
Chapter
9
Shopping
BOR 9-1 Shopping Mall Flow of Pedestrian Traffic
The flow of
pedestrian traffic shall be counter-clockwise in the commons area of shopping
malls. This standardizes the flow of pedestrian traffic within the mall. All
individuals shall enter the proper flow of traffic as quickly as practicable after
entering the mall or exiting individual stores within the mall.
Illustration 9-1 Shopping Mall Flow of Pedestrian Traffic
A. Shoppers with disabilities are exempt
from the counter clockwise requirement, provided an operational advantage exists
moving against the flow of traffic.
BOR 9-2 Maximum Allowable Shopping Times at Malls
The maximum
allowable shopping times at malls vary due to genetic differences between men
and women. The practice of shopping should never be hurried, yet shall be
accomplished purposefully. In an effort to reduce loitering, time limits were
established in 2008 based on the genetic composition of a shopping party. Non-shopping
activities such as “mall walking” are permitted, provided activities are
accomplished with intent, and time restrictions are honored.
Shopping Party
Composition Allowable Shopping Times
One
or more male shoppers 2 Hours
One
or more female shoppers 3
Hours
A
group of males and females
2 Hours and 30 Minutes
BOR 9-3 Designated Meeting Times
Groups of
individuals who separate in shopping malls shall establish a predetermined
meeting location and designated time. Designated meeting location shall be convenient
for all individuals in the party. Factors such as parking location, distance to
preferred stores, and proximity to eating establishments shall be considered in
determining an optimal meeting location. Parties more than fifteen minutes late
at meeting locations shall be considered overdue. Overdue individuals may be
excluded in successive mall visits if a justifiable excuse for tardiness does
not exist.
BOR 9-4 Utilizing the Same Entrance at Malls
The entrance
used on the initial visit to a mall or large shopping complex shall also be
used on successive shopping visits. Utilizing the same entrance increases mall
spacial awareness and reduces the likelihood of mall disorientation. As
familiarity gradually increases, individuals may more effectively accomplish
shopping goals within the prescribed maximum shopping time limits (See BOR 9-2).
1. Shopping mall familiarization is
defined as possessing the ability to provide a general location of 75% or more
stores within a shopping complex.
BOR 9-5 Checking Out
The checkout
lane with the smallest line shall be selected to pay for shopping goods. Prior
to lane selection, all shopping lanes shall be briefly scanned for the possible
availability of a “no wait” line. The checkout process shall be executed as
expeditiously as practical.
BOR 9-6 Unnecessary Conversation in Checkout Lines
During the
checkout process, only necessary conversation directly related to the
transaction is permissible. The responsibility of expediting the transactional
process lies with both the customer and the cashier. Prompt, polite statements
such as “hello” and “thank you” are permissible, provided such statements do
not develop into actual conversation.
A. Small talk such as “What do you think
about the weather?”, “Did you see the news today?”, or “Did you see what the
news said about the weather today?” is strictly forbidden.
(BOR 9-6)
NOTE: It is rumored
that shortly before the assassination of President Lincoln, Ulysses S Grant was
delayed in his visit to the Ford Theater due to a lengthy shopping visit. While
in line at the Towne Goods Mercantile, clerk Anna Thomas began discussing with
Grant the details surrounding the divorce affairs of one Thomas Smithers. This
small talk delayed Mr. Grant’s arrival by twenty six minutes on his trip to the
Ford Theater. Unnecessary conversation may have contributed to the
assassination of one of the greatest presidents in American history.
BOR
9-7 Holding the Door
All men shall open the door for any female
attempting entry or exit of any establishment. Chivalry is not dead, and the
requirement to hold a door open for a woman is not gone. The number of “Thank
You” and “Your Welcome” responses required to be spoken depend on the number of
women entering or exiting an establishment.
A. One Man Opens Door for One Woman: “Thank You” response is required by the
woman, and “You’re Welcome” response is required by the man.
B. One
Man Opens Door for Two Woman: “Thank
You” response is required by both Women. “You’re Welcome” response is required
by the man if a “Thank You” is received.
C. One
Man Opens Door for Three or More Women: “Thank You” response is required by the
first and last woman and optional for the other women. “You’re Welcome”
response is required by the man if a “Thank You” is received.
BOR 9-8 Personal Clothing Quota
All adult men
and women shall establish a personal clothing quota of individual items within
their wardrobe. A specific limit of clothing items such as shirts, socks, and
shoes, etc. shall be established and maintained. Personal clothing quotas are
not restrictive. However, good judgment should be exercised. An example of a
clothing quota for a 28 year old male would be 20 shirts, 9 pairs of pants, 6
pairs of shoes, and so on. After an article of clothing is purchased, and the
clothing quota for a similar item has been met or exceeded, a similar item from
an individual’s clothing inventory shall be removed.
BOR 9-9 Purchasing Seasonal Items
Seasonal items such as Easter baskets and
Christmas tree ornaments shall only be purchased within the designated shopping
window as described below. Purchasing seasonal items outside of the shopping
window encourages merchants to display groups of items out of season. Such
practices reduce the significance of the current holiday season.
A. Seasonal
Shopping Window Chart
Holiday
Allowable Purchase Dates
New Years Day December 15th - January 1st
Valentine’s Day February
1st – February 14th
St. Patrick’s Day March
11th – March 18th
Easter Sunday Two
Weeks Prior – Easter Sunday
US Independence Day June 20th –
July 6th
Halloween Any
Day in October
Thanksgiving
November 1st – Thanksgiving
Christmas November 15th – December 31st
B. Purchasing
seasonal items outside of the appropriate seasonal window is allowable only:
1. Whenever
purchasing clearance items for the following year.
2.
Whenever shoppers are physically unable to
purchase items within the seasonal window for a variety of acceptable reasons.
BOR
9-10 Supervising Children
Parents and guardians shall ensure children
are well behaved while shopping. Unruly children at shopping centers may cause
an unpleasant and occasionally hazardous shopping experience for others.
Supervising children shall be the primary duty priority of parents while
shopping. The following four procedures shall be enforced at all times by
parents while shopping.
A. Children
under age 12 shall never be outside the visual range of parents while shopping.
B. Children
shall not walk or run at such speeds that may endanger other shoppers.
C. Parents
shall make every effort to soothe children crying to such a degree that would
hinder the shopping experience of others.
1. If
parents are unable to suppress extreme noise from children, the children shall
be taken outside of the shopping establishment within five minutes.
D. Children
shall not wear “wheeled” shoes while shopping.
Appendix
A
BOR
94.7-D1 Discrepancy Forms
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